Coming to Terms

This week wasn’t my kind of week. It was everything I didn’t hope for. It was, to sum it up, a week of waiting (for people, for replies) and expecting (from people and from myself). This was one week I looked forward to, but now that it’s about to end, it’s a week I don’t to look back at. Everything I felt from Monday-Sunday was the same way I felt on that day early this year. It was sad, gloomy and heartbreaking. It was, to say the least, the opposite of what I should be feeling.

But I had to come to terms. I needed to give myself a chin up. I needed to feel alive. And so I did. I drenched myself in the rain . It was one way for me to forget, to carry on and to feel again. It was my own kind of escape.

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I missed playing in the rain and feeling the raindrops on my skin. It reminded me of childhood — young and carefree days of childhood. It reminded me of blessings — how it’s continuously pouring like the raindrops. It reminded me of love — like the first time you know you have fallen for someone. That is all the rain to me — childhood, blessings and love. I needed to think about the three so I could come to terms to whatever my heart is feeling right now. I needed to be alive and whole again. And thankfully, I am.

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This week may have been bad, but there are a few things I’d like to share to you about how I didn’t make it seem so bad.

First, I’ve finished my itinerary for my solo trip next month. It was a month in the making because when I booked that ticket to Kuala Lumpur last year, I initially wanted to just cross to Singapore. But through tedious research, I have decided to just go to Penang, northwest of Malaysia, 4 hours by bus and 1 hour by plane from the capital city Kuala Lumpur. One deciding factor for choosing Penang was the food. They say that Georgetown, the capital city, boasts of the best food there is in Malaysia. I wanted to try that first hand. And I wanted to be different. I haven’t heard of my friends visiting Penang before, that’s why it adds to the excitement level. Going solo is exciting enough, exploring roads less traveled is another.

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Second, I have finally (finally) got this huge load off my back (uhm, mind too) because of my friend. It’s so liberating to have it offloaded. Thank God for a friend who is not there to judge you, but is there to listen. Thank God for a friend who can understand mistakes and flaws and reckless things. No matter how stubborn I become, I thank God that I have someone like you.

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Third, I finally got my pet last Friday. Thank you also to my dear friend for giving me Cooper. He’s a delight. He’s a blessing. He’s definitely in good hands.

I can only be delighted by the fact that this week is about to end and another one starts tomorrow. Hopefully, it’ll be a good one. Hopefully, it won’t be ruined (by someone, anyone, everyone).

Kaye

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